Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
