Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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