she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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