I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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