Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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