She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
