She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
