i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The adults are the big ones right?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
