Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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