I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
