Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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