are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
