I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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