Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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