I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
