This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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