We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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