would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
