I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
