Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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