That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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