then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
