I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
