no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
