Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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