the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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