I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
