Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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