I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
