the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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