It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
