i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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