Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
