so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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