Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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