No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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