and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
