Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
