i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
