What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
