HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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