im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
