butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
