She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Someone signed my nipple.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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