it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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