I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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