This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
