I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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