I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Someone signed my nipple.
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