his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
