I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
